If you have followed any of my writings, you are well aware that I do not beat around the bush to get to the heart of the matter. After all, what good is it when someone has difficulty comprehending even the mundane. I am talking about those individuals who absolutely refuse to see the forest for the trees and heed common sense!
Have you ever met a person who reaches out for help as if they were sinking in quicksand but refuse to grab hold of the olive branch, hand or….whatever it may be? Lately I have met my fill if these types of people and, quite frankly, I think it is far overdue for this topic to be addressed. I've lost count of how many times I have had to use the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but, you cannot make him drink" in the past couple of months. And this is not simply a matter of the water drying up….oh no; there is plenty to be had. So, let's examine why it is that there are so many among us who refuse to believe they could do anything different from what they have been doing for years….and expect a different result! Two words come to mind immediately when I have a conversation with someone whose hearing has become impaired….intentionally! Those two words would be 'pride' and 'ego'. If there is anything that can bring out my evil twin, that being a cynical, sarcastic, totally up front individual, it would be the exhibiting of these two dangerous behaviors. Let us take a look at what pride and ego have the ability to destroy:
· Relationships
· Self-Preservation
· Job Advancement
· Saving for the future
· Present, past, and future events
These are just the major categories as it would take me days to fill these pages with all the things that pride and ego can destroy if we do not have control over both. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not implying that pride and ego are 'bad' things. I am simply saying that when someone allows them to rule over common sense and the betterment of themselves and others, they can be very destructive. Let's just take a look at an example of how these basic human instincts can wreak havoc in one's life:
A couple begins to argue about who does more of the chores at home after a long, hard day at work. The female, because our society has determined this, starts right in with cooking dinner, getting laundry going and perhaps feeding the household pets. Let's not forget, if children are involved, she is hit the minute she comes in the door with homework needs, paperwork to be signed for school, etc. The partner comes home around the same time but, again, as society has determined, he is given time to unwind, change his clothes, maybe sits down to watch some television or, chooses to help his spouse with what he deems her job. The wife, having had an extremely rough day finally says something to the effect of, "Why is it that I am always expected to do all the housework and take care of the kids and dog after working and you….you think your job ends when you've walked out the door from work?!" (In steps pride because the question has taken an accusatory tone.) In response, the husband rebuts, "What are you talking about? I work hard all day to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, not to mention that my job is much harder than yours. Why should I be expected to come home and not have a moment's peace without being badgered?" (In steps ego because the rebuttal takes on a defensive tone.) I think we can all see where this discussion is going and will, ultimately, end up. But, what if the words we choose and the tone we use are done so without ego or pride being the third silent party? The conversation may go something like this;
"(Wife sits down calmly like a time-out) You know what, I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed lately after working all day, having to come home and jump right into all the things that need to be done here. It makes me feel like you do not respect the work I do all day when you come home and just sit watching me run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Do you think we could sit down and take a look at what our days entail and help each other out so we can have more time to spend together doing something enjoyable?"
Response with no ego:
"Ya know what honey, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were feeling that way and it is not my intention to disrespect you in any way. Sure, I like to come home and relax but, I can see that you would probably like to do the same. Why don't we sit down after dinner and see what changes we can make so that you don't feel so overwhelmed and I can certainly help do my share around the house."
Reading the above two responses…which do you think will end more productively with concessions on both sides? I'm going to make an educated guess at the responses that have put pride and ego aside! With this example, let's take a look at what can be applied to help maintain a happy, healthy lifestyle when pride and ego are put in check:
· Better relationships
· Empathy for others
· Compassion
· Sacrifice for the greater good
· Respect and dignity towards everyone
Another short example of pride and ego playing the major role in a situation:
Sometimes it isn't simply a matter of pride or ego but more of a learned thought process that we are not aware of. But, when we become aware of it and let pride and egos rule our thinking, life can be very difficult indeed. For instance, if more than one person suggests that an attitude adjustment may be in order for you, chances are, they are correct. If you continue to have the same problems and challenges in every new relationship, it's a good bed that pride and ego are ruling you. Do not be afraid to take a step back, take respected other's thoughts into consideration, set the pride and ego aside, and make some changes. Don't be that horse that can be led to water but refuses to drink. We are all works in progress!
Working to enhance your relationships will make for a happier, healthier, and more positive lifestyle!
Have you ever met a person who reaches out for help as if they were sinking in quicksand but refuse to grab hold of the olive branch, hand or….whatever it may be? Lately I have met my fill if these types of people and, quite frankly, I think it is far overdue for this topic to be addressed. I've lost count of how many times I have had to use the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but, you cannot make him drink" in the past couple of months. And this is not simply a matter of the water drying up….oh no; there is plenty to be had. So, let's examine why it is that there are so many among us who refuse to believe they could do anything different from what they have been doing for years….and expect a different result! Two words come to mind immediately when I have a conversation with someone whose hearing has become impaired….intentionally! Those two words would be 'pride' and 'ego'. If there is anything that can bring out my evil twin, that being a cynical, sarcastic, totally up front individual, it would be the exhibiting of these two dangerous behaviors. Let us take a look at what pride and ego have the ability to destroy:
· Relationships
· Self-Preservation
· Job Advancement
· Saving for the future
· Present, past, and future events
These are just the major categories as it would take me days to fill these pages with all the things that pride and ego can destroy if we do not have control over both. Please do not misunderstand me, I am not implying that pride and ego are 'bad' things. I am simply saying that when someone allows them to rule over common sense and the betterment of themselves and others, they can be very destructive. Let's just take a look at an example of how these basic human instincts can wreak havoc in one's life:
A couple begins to argue about who does more of the chores at home after a long, hard day at work. The female, because our society has determined this, starts right in with cooking dinner, getting laundry going and perhaps feeding the household pets. Let's not forget, if children are involved, she is hit the minute she comes in the door with homework needs, paperwork to be signed for school, etc. The partner comes home around the same time but, again, as society has determined, he is given time to unwind, change his clothes, maybe sits down to watch some television or, chooses to help his spouse with what he deems her job. The wife, having had an extremely rough day finally says something to the effect of, "Why is it that I am always expected to do all the housework and take care of the kids and dog after working and you….you think your job ends when you've walked out the door from work?!" (In steps pride because the question has taken an accusatory tone.) In response, the husband rebuts, "What are you talking about? I work hard all day to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, not to mention that my job is much harder than yours. Why should I be expected to come home and not have a moment's peace without being badgered?" (In steps ego because the rebuttal takes on a defensive tone.) I think we can all see where this discussion is going and will, ultimately, end up. But, what if the words we choose and the tone we use are done so without ego or pride being the third silent party? The conversation may go something like this;
"(Wife sits down calmly like a time-out) You know what, I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed lately after working all day, having to come home and jump right into all the things that need to be done here. It makes me feel like you do not respect the work I do all day when you come home and just sit watching me run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Do you think we could sit down and take a look at what our days entail and help each other out so we can have more time to spend together doing something enjoyable?"
Response with no ego:
"Ya know what honey, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were feeling that way and it is not my intention to disrespect you in any way. Sure, I like to come home and relax but, I can see that you would probably like to do the same. Why don't we sit down after dinner and see what changes we can make so that you don't feel so overwhelmed and I can certainly help do my share around the house."
Reading the above two responses…which do you think will end more productively with concessions on both sides? I'm going to make an educated guess at the responses that have put pride and ego aside! With this example, let's take a look at what can be applied to help maintain a happy, healthy lifestyle when pride and ego are put in check:
· Better relationships
· Empathy for others
· Compassion
· Sacrifice for the greater good
· Respect and dignity towards everyone
Another short example of pride and ego playing the major role in a situation:
Sometimes it isn't simply a matter of pride or ego but more of a learned thought process that we are not aware of. But, when we become aware of it and let pride and egos rule our thinking, life can be very difficult indeed. For instance, if more than one person suggests that an attitude adjustment may be in order for you, chances are, they are correct. If you continue to have the same problems and challenges in every new relationship, it's a good bed that pride and ego are ruling you. Do not be afraid to take a step back, take respected other's thoughts into consideration, set the pride and ego aside, and make some changes. Don't be that horse that can be led to water but refuses to drink. We are all works in progress!
Working to enhance your relationships will make for a happier, healthier, and more positive lifestyle!