Relationships can be so truly blissful or, can turn into a train wreck you never saw coming. With those rose colored glasses we choose to wear when first getting to know that someone we think is perfect, we fail to see some red flags that not only pop up but, are waving like the American flag high atop the tallest pole! Still, we are determined to turn a blind eye until one day and, BAM! If we are smart enough to pay attention to all those little peeves that point straight to a giant personality flaw, we can get out quicker than we can say, 'Good-bye'!
It happens to all of us. Yet, there are plenty of marriages that weather the storm because of love and respect and the sanctity of consideration and empathy for another. Still, there are those who believe the love boat will dock forever and they will live happily ever after. For those who actually see marriage or, any relationship for what it really is; hard work, you will recognize when the love boat has sailed and you are left with far less romanticism and far more reality. Some signs of when the love boat has sailed for those who are still docked are when:
- That sweet adorable man who wanted to be with you all the time no longer wants you wearing his shirts as PJ's!
- He no longer feels he needs to treat you with courtesy and throws all chivalry out the window and you now open your own doors
- You no longer hear, 'Honey, can I get you something while I'm up?'
- You've purchased every type of lingerie (and toy) known to man, wear it around the living room and the television or electronic device is far more interesting than you are.
- He sees you lugging in 5 bags of groceries on each arm, struggling up stairs and his only response is, 'Did you get my chips'?
- Sex becomes taboo or a four letter word that he wants no part of except for possibly once in a blue moon. And I mean the blue moon that only comes once in every 2.5 years!
- He no longer remembers your birthday, anniversary or what color your eyes are.
Okay, it's not fair to just pick on the guys and nor would I ever dismiss the fact that this happens with women as well. Some signs for men that your love boat has sailed are:
- She no longer looks longingly into your eyes and believes you to be her knight in shining armor. She'll carry those groceries by herself without asking for a helping hand
- She no longer shops for hours for that perfect piece of lingerie she thinks you'll love much less wears it. On go the matching pj's in cotton or flannel
- She no longer cares whether you want to be intimate or not because she's just as interested in other things just like you!
- She simply no longer cares if you loathe having to have sex because, quite frankly, she's not that into you anymore anyway and she's tired of trying to gain your attention
- She cuts her hair the way she wants to wear it, not how you would like to see it
- She stops making your favorite meal unless she actually wants to eat it
- She stops trying to save money because you harp on her and goes for the mani and pedi anyway!
The actual reality of it is these things do not have to happen! Try looking at your mate in a new light. See them for the reason you married in the first place. Notice the tiny glimmer of hope that remains in their eyes that some romance still remains somewhere. Do something nice just because, not because you feel you have to. Be there in mind, body, and spirit. You will be amazed at the refreshingly beautiful spirit you said your 'I do's' to has become.